#LoveMeLike is a beautiful and affirming hashtag started by @Blackamazon with over 6,000 tweets published where Black women spoke honestly about the type of love we need and deserve. This wasn’t just about romantic love in a heteronormative frame (especially for me as an ace) as some would expect but about love as affirmation of humanity, as power and as justice, which would include that aforementioned frame and much more. The Huffington Post's Black Voices featured the hashtag and included my first tweet above in the article Hashtag #LoveMeLike Takes Twitter By Storm As Black Women Share Empowering Messages. To see all of the tweets sent from everyone, not just my own on my own blog, click the hashtag link above.
The hashtag surfaced after a few Black men asked what do Black men love about Black women and unfortunately many (not all) of the replies only mentioned Black women as objects of labor or loyalty, not as humans worth loving outside of service. @Blackamazon asked:
Black women, how do we want to be loved? How do we need to be loved? Because we can love Black women. But do we love Black women enough to honor their requests, their self determination? It’s easy to love something when you feel it can’t make demands back but LOVE, loving someone to be the best they want to be?
One complaint that I saw surface was that the conversation was too “political.” I mentioned this:
Personal is political. If you think love—especially for Black women—doesn’t involve the political, you’ve gotta re-examine the last four centuries. When Black men name reasons they don’t love Black women, most are shaped by patriarchy and the White Gaze. And those two things are political. How love is expressed is more than sexual romantic and matters for Black women more than just dating. Thus, to claim Black women are “forcing” feminism into love? No. If lack of love we receive is shaped by oppression, we need anti-oppression terms. Anti-oppression is inherently personal. There is no way to remove my need for humanity and freedom from discussions on love.
Of course self-love is critical, but self-love alone is not justice. Again, love is more than romantic, sexual, or heteronormative. Love isn’t about “earning” humanity through “respectability,” through others’ perception of Black women having "enough" self esteem to be deemed lovable or having our humanity on trial to just to gain basic respect. Black women knowing how we want to be loved matters.
I found this tag to be very moving and affirming and I’m glad to have been a part of it. It’s a womanist act to see ourselves worthy of love and to be able to name what that love looks like, especially since Black women being denied our humanity, let alone love, is standard in this oppressive society.
Love me like you have the willingness to affirm what I’ve stated here for myself and for other Black women who relate without the need to derail this post or harm me.
"Without justice there can be no love." - bell hooks
The main problem I have with Men’s Rights Activists is that their name really doesn’t do them justice. They’re Straight Cis White Men’s Rights Activists. I have NEVER seen Men’s Rights Activists campaign for the inclusion of trans* men in their spaces.
I have NEVER seen Men’s Rights Activists campaign to end the social stigma around black fatherhood. I have NEVER seen Men’s Rights Activists campaign for better pay and equal career mobility for men of colour. I have NEVER seen Men’s Rights Activists actively campaign for more gay men’s rights. I have NEVER seen Men’s Rights Activists advise others in their group on how using f*ggot to emasculate men who aren’t part of their cause is alienating and marginalising other MEN.
I have NEVER seen Men’s Rights Activists campaign, raise awareness of, or support victims of male rape unless it’s in order to derail a discussion around female victims of rape. I have NEVER seen Men’s Rights Activists campaign, raise awareness of, or support male victims of domestic abuse unless it’s in order to derail a discussion around female victims of domestic abuse. Men’s Rights Activists are hypocrites and frauds.
They’re bitter privileged white men who don’t want to campaign for the rights of men — they want to campaign to keep their privilege unchecked and their ability to discriminate against others. If you want to be a real Men’s Rights Activist — be a fucking (intersectional) Feminist. Peace out.
…and it’s true too.
I just always reblog this story too. Because it’s awesome. And because obviously Boggs is the kind of person that should be well known, and become a role model. (And Chris Garcia, Boggs’s friend who rode as well!)
Also, I wanted to note that there’s a scholarship fund for the two boys set up. You can donate here!: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/reward-the-heroes-scholarship-fund-temar-boggs-and-chris-garcia
Reblogging for scholarship information
The scholarship fund is currently at $15k, but we know that even now that’s a pittance compared to the actual cost of higher ed. And it doesn’t look like costs are going to be coming down, unfortunately.
Please donate if you can, and signal boost the heck outta this.
Always reblog because someday I hope the first thing I think when we see a photo of a young black man is something like this, not “criminal” or “murdered by police.”
Also Tumblr, if we can raise money for people’s medical bills and sick cats and so on, surely we can send these two young men to college?
Pocket Printer by Zuta Labs
Not only a portable design, but able to print on any size page.
it finally feels like 2014
Every once in a while there’s an invention you never knew you always needed.
THIS IS A KICKSTARTER!
And it needs funding!
On April 15 1989 , 24,000 Liverpool fans travelled to a football match. 96 never returned home.
The Hillsborough disaster occurred 25 year ago today. For decades, fans were blamed for the deaths of their family members and friends, and they were accused of stealing wallets from corpses. It was all lies concocted by the authorities—including elected officials—and spread by tabloids.
In the picture you see above, two young supporters of rival clubs—Liverpool and Everton—stand together to honor the memory of the 96 and to thank those who’ve battled for decades to uncover the truth.
I had a patient in the clinic who really did not want an abortion but who had no resources to cover the costs of prenatal care or childbirth. She was single and without insurance coverage but made just enough money to be ineligible for state assistance. She already had outstanding bills at the hospital and with the local ob-gyn practice. No doctor would see her without payment up front.
We were willing to do the abortion for a reduced rate or for free if necessary. But she really didn’t want an abortion. Once I understood her situation, I went to the phone and called the local ‘crisis pregnancy center.’
"Hello, this is Dr. Wicklund."
Dead silence. I might as well have said I was Satan.
"Hello?" I said again. "This is Dr. Wicklund."
"Hello," very tentatively, followed by another long silence.
"I need help with a patient," I said. She came to me for an abortion, but really doesn’t want one. What she really needs is someone to do her prenatal care and birth for free."
"What do you expect us to do?"
I let that hang for a minute.
This Common Secret, Susan Wicklund
Crisis Pregnancy Centers often disguise themselves as medical facilities, with advertisements offering “help” with an unplanned pregnancy. Their main goal is to keep the pregnant person from having an abortion at all costs. Usually, all they’ll give you is a free pregnancy test, some baby clothes, and maybe a box of diapers.
The patient referred to in the quote was given free prenatal care and did not have to pay the financial cost of childbirth by a local anti-choice doctor. She would often stop by Dr. Wicklund’s office to let her know how she was doing:
"He (the doctor) always moans and groans about being tricked into [doing this]," she says. "Then he goes off on these tirades against abortion."
"This Common Secret" is such a phenomenal book. And yeah, crisis pregnancy centers are generally evil, so there’s that.